JMikePatt

Yesterday started as a normal day. Then the triggers happened like dominoes falling. These are the kinds of triggers that used to send me straight to the darkest part of the darkness. But my view is different now. Clearer. When you spend enough time in the dark, the shadows become visible. Where some might find fear, I hold on to my faith. The view may never be the same, but the vision is clear. It all depends on interpretation and perception. People will always tell you what you are supposed to do based on their own beliefs. But I know what I am supposed to do based on my faith. This is not unfamiliar territory anymore. The more I navigate it, the better I get at doing what I am meant to do. You're supposed to is a want. Mine is a need. A want is what you see. A need is unseen. The last two years have not been an ending. They have been building toward the beginning of an awakening, breaking free from chains that have held me back since I was seven years old. And that awakening is ...

I was having a chat with this old guy in his eighties the other day. We were watching a bunch of folks looking over at a construction site. He looked over at them and shook his head and said, "Those women ain't gonna do much work in them dresses they got on. That there is DEI at its best." I looked right at him and said, "If they got the skill for the job, then why not?" He did not like that one bit. He said, "Well, women going out to work is what ruined the whole family." So I looked him in the eye and said, "Controlling men do the exact same thing." Silence. Complete crickets. He sure changed the subject real fast after that. If we keep holding onto old ways of thinking just because that is how it used to be, how are we ever gonna build a better future for anyone?

A narcissist cares about you when you care about them. Read that again. When you first hear those words, they might sound like a simple description of a relationship. But when you let them sit, the illusion shatters. It doesn't say they care about you. It says they care when you care about them. That kind of "care" isn't affection; it’s a transaction. It’s a reflection. It’s an appetite for validation that leaves you empty the moment you stop pouring into a vessel that has no bottom. Lately, I’ve been dealing with my demons. Both the external demons from my past and the inner demons within myself. Because if I am being honest with the mirror, I have been on both sides of the fence. It is easy to point at the external demons, the people who used us, the conditional warmth, the transactional relationships, and the scars left behind by those who only valued what we provided. Recognizing those external forces is necessary for survival. It helps us understand why we built ...

I’ve been sitting here thinking about the world and how it’s running right now, and honestly, it ain’t hard to see what’s going on. You don't need a fancy degree or a big stack of books to figure it out. You just have to open your eyes and watch. The whole thing is rigged, top to bottom. Look at politicians. We call them leaders, but they’re just puppets. Plain and simple. And the folks running around blindly sticking up for their "party"? They're just pawns on the board, fighting each other while the guys at the top laugh all the way to the bank. Politics ain't about public service anymore. It’s just a legal, slick way for people who know how to bullshit to get rich without ever doing a day of real, hard work. And who’s pulling the strings? The corporations. They got all the money, so they lobby the puppets to get whatever laws they want passed. Then they turn around and feed the pawns just enough shiny junk to keep them happy and quiet. Meanwhile, the stuff that...

 

Look at what's on your screen right now. Everything is political. Every post, every thing you buy, every headline. It’s all being turned into a fight. Why? Because that’s how politicians make their money. The whole game is built on keeping us mad. They use race and identity like bait on a hook, throwing it out there to trigger people’s feelings so nobody stops to use plain old logic. They don't want us thinking for ourselves. They want us fired up, because angry people click, angry people argue, and angry people send them cash. The wizards running the show just moved from the industrial era to the digital era. It’s just a changing of the guard, but the trick is still the same. They turned red and blue into two sports teams, tricking us into thinking our own neighbors are the enemy just because they wear a different color. I saw an image a while back that got me thinking. It showed a map of the US that was all blue, and one that was all red, and then right next to them was a map...

When one opens their mind and can see what others can't, the world becomes small when you find a way to connect with the universe. I had a connection with one who had passed on before my mother passed. When Mom passed, it was very difficult. I thought I was prepared, but there is no way to prepare—not for the emotional rollercoaster, but the mental and spiritual one. Those rollercoasters are not easy. Then there's the pain of what happens to family after a loved one has transitioned. Here's that choice again: Quit or drown? I had to choose survival, and drowning was the only way. This has been going on for a couple of years now, but every day feels like day one again. Now I see it starting all over again. I'm not sure what is coming, but I will say I'm going to protect the family no matter how bad it gets. Within a few days of Mom passing, this cat showed up at my parents' house. I see it as her. Mom enjoyed sitting on the porch watching the birds. So does the c...

Understanding life is not easy. In fact, I don’t understand why we even try. Life is just that, life. We have no control over what happens around us or away from us. All we can control is how we react to life. Even then, we will not understand why what is happening is happening. I took some time away from life in a different way than some would say is healthy, but it was a much-needed break that I didn’t see myself needing. While searching for a way to try to understand why things happened the way that they did, I found myself understanding that there is no way to understand life as it happens. I find myself having a better understanding of not being able to understand that whatever happens happens, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. What you choose to see is the world you choose to live in, while what is truly visible is fear of what you don't want to see. What one sees based on appearance is different than what one sees based on image. The image you see of me is what...

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how our eyes and our brains play tricks on us. Just today, I was looking at something, reading right along, and I swear those words "no sugar added" were not on the page. I looked back a little while later, and boom—there they were, sitting right in plain sight. It makes you stop and ask yourself: Did I just not see it, or did my mind just fill in the blanks before I even had a chance to look? It got me reflecting back on caring for my parent. When you sit with someone going through vision loss and cognitive changes, you start noticing how they make sense of a world that’s fading around them. We’d go to buy orange juice, and if it wasn't the exact look or color they were used to—say, a generic brand in a slightly different container—they’d look right at it and say, "That’s not orange juice." To them, it wasn't about reading the label. The fine print was gone. They were relying strictly on appearance, on color and shape, ...

I sit here and watch what’s happening with religion and politics, and I see another piece of the puzzle. It doesn't matter what side you’re on, the vision is the same: chaos creates division. So many people don't see the game of righteous power being played. But no matter what, there is going to be a "game over." Good versus evil, right versus wrong—no matter how you look at it, that old way is over. We have become our own worst enemy. We only think about our wants and never our needs. Even the government tells us what they want, not what we need, and then their wants become our needs. That is manipulation at its best. But control is just what is wanted. Balance is what is actually needed. The more we think and the less we feel, the more that balance will happen. If you want clues on how this ends, pay attention to the older generations instead of mocking them. We can learn a lot about our future based on their choices. As we get older, the choices we made in our youn...

 

I didn’t invite the devil to the dancefloor. Hell, I didn’t even know I was dancing. People kept telling me I was messing with the wrong energy. They’d say “That’s the devil,” but all I saw was survival. Pain, yes. Confusion, absolutely. But the devil? That would’ve been too easy to label. See, when you're in the middle of it — the breakdowns, the betrayals, the dark nights of the soul — it don’t come with horns and fire. It comes as lessons. And it comes quiet. And maybe that’s what scared them. Not that I was lost — but that I wasn’t. Because while they were praying for me to find my way, God was sitting back, arms crossed, watching me take every step toward becoming who I had to be. He knew. He knew I had to feel it. He knew I wouldn’t grow in the light. Not yet. I needed the dark. I needed the fight. I needed to dance with everything I thought I feared until I realized I wasn’t afraid of shit anymore. They told me I was playing with fire. Nah. I was the fire. And God didn’t sto...

Sometimes you just get tired. Tired of trying, tired of keeping the peace, and honestly, tired of feeling like people are looking at you like you’re the bad guy. I had this thought today: If I’m going to be treated like an asshole, why not just play the part? I’ve spent a lot of my life playing the role people wanted from me just to get some attention or keep things quiet. So I figured, why not keep the show going? If they want a villain, I’ll give 'em a blockbuster. I tried to use some clever logic to justify it. We’ve all heard the Golden Rule: Treat people the way you want to be treated. So, I thought, what if a person treats me like garbage? By the laws of logic, that must mean they want to be treated like garbage. I'm just giving them what they asked for, right? It felt like the perfect defense. I mirror their bad energy, they get what they deserve, and I get to pretend I’m just holding up a mirror. But here is the catch I had to face: when you play the villain just to get...

Here is my thought about how we think and how we ought to treat each other. You can't force everyone into the same box. When someone feels like we should all have the same mindset, that isn’t thinking. That is expressing a feeling and not logic. It’s just a gut reaction, not a real thought. Play nice, even if you don't agree. If a person thinks that we should respect each other's beliefs, that is thinking logically. That is expressing a thought. It’s just being smart, and it's the only way to keep the peace. We aren't born identical. If a person believes that we are all created equal, that is expressing a belief, not a fact. Let's be real, it's a nice sentiment, but we all start in different places. Equal treatment isn't about identical outcomes. By thinking we are different but should treat each other equally, that is thinking logically. But let's get something straight: treating each other equally does not mean the same pay or the same level. Just ...

Before you judge someone, remember that your relationship with God is yours. If you want to tell someone how to live, imagine if that same person did the exact same to you by questioning your faith. My relationship with God is built on faith, and we have an understanding that He will test my faith by putting me in the fire. If one wants to find God, they will. I found God through the tests that He put me through. My work is not that of a preacher or a teacher, but that of someone who has lived through the fire and will do it again to do God's work. I had to embrace the darkness before it embraced me. "Your darkness is my light, and your light is my darkness." Because we don’t share the same view doesn’t mean we don’t share the same vision. God uses His people to reach those in a way that captures their attention without pushing them away. We don't need to walk the exact same path to be headed toward the exact same truth. Every trial we survive gives us a choice in how...

Who I am is not who I was, but who I was is not who you thought I was. Who I was is who I want to be, but who I want to be is not who I am. Who I am is who you needed me to be, because that is what I wanted, But what I needed is not what you wanted. That is when you learn that what was wanted was not what was needed, But what was needed was really what you wanted. Sometimes a choice of wants or needs becomes a choice of quitting or drowning. The choices aren't easy, But when you see what the choices were, You realize it was about survival. The danger is a risk, and a risk requires faith. When faith is portrayed as a need not knowing it was a want, because someone else said it was a need when it was their want. Faith is not taught; it is learned. When it is taught, it is betrayal. Betrayal of yourself. It allows me to see that anger was needed for the survival of quitting. When what was to quit, I chose to drown. Survival is not about betrayal or walking away. It is about making the...

 

 

 

I saw a post the other day asking a brutal question: Would you really block a family member for your own mental peace? My reply was short and to the point: While it may bring peace at the moment, it will be a not-so-peaceful awakening. A lot of people think hitting that block button or cutting ties is the ultimate fix. You get pushed to your absolute limit, you’re exhausted from the arguments and the drama, and you just want the chaos to stop. So you pull the plug. And in that exact second, it feels like a victory. You finally get some quiet. But there is a massive difference between quiet and actual peace. As someone who has disconnected from family and been on the receiving end of being disconnected from family, I can tell you the honest truth from experience: In the long run, it does not bring peace to anyone. When you cut those lines, the text messages stop, and the daily fighting ends, sure. But the reality doesn't just vanish. You can’t block the history, the shared blood, or...

 

It ain't hard to see why a lot of the country stays home on election day. People aren't lazy; they're just flat-out tired of the bullshit. When you tune in, and all you see is two sides acting like dogs fighting over a bone, running each other down 24/7, it stops feeling like a choice. It feels like an insult. They stop talking about fixing the roads or making life a little easier for regular folks, and they spend all their time trying to scare you into thinking the other guy is the boogeyman. That’s a rotten way to do business. If you gotta make me hate the neighbor just to get me to buy your product, your product must be junk. And don't just come around handing me a laundry list of promises either. Don't just tell me what you're gonna TRY and accomplish. Anybody can mouth words about what they want to do. If you want my attention, you'd better lay out the actual steps on how YOU are going to achieve it. Show me the blueprint, or don't waste my time. Th...

So I’m trying to get a job with one of these big-name staffing agencies, and they tell me I have to download their app. Okay, fine. But then it gets weird. They want me to upload my driver’s license and my Social Security Number into the app, and then,get this, I gotta get a friend to download the app too just to click a button and say I'm a real person. Think about that for a second. They are making a regular person do their HR work for them for free. Plus, how do I know my friend’s phone is even secure? If their phone has been hacked or compromised, my private ID information is out there in the wind. I actually walked right into their local office to try and do this face-to-face, but they turned me away and told me the app was the only way. On top of that, they’re sending out official emails filled with bad grammar and using Google Forms to get people to sign up for hiring events. A multi-billion-dollar company using a Google Form? In today’s world, that is a massive red flag. Ev...

 

I’ve been thinking about something lately, and I’m just going to lay it out there the best way I know how. We hear a lot of folks talking about being vulnerable these days. It’s a big buzzword. People think that if they sit down, have an open-minded conversation, and listen to a different point of view, they’re being vulnerable. But they ain't. Not really. An open-minded conversation is just a brain exercise. You can argue, change your mind, and walk away without ever showing a single scratch on your real self. It’s like playing a game of checkers. You’re just moving pieces around. To figure out what true vulnerability is, you have to ask yourself one simple, gritty question: Would I feel comfortable being naked around this person? Now, don't get it twisted. I don’t just mean physically, though that’s part of it. When you’re naked, you don’t have any clothes to hide the flaws, no fancy shirt to project a cool image, and no armor. You’re just... you. Totally exposed. But it’s th...

 

I spent a long time thinking I was just a really good guy. Always the first one to jump in and fix a problem, always offering a hand, always trying to save the day. I wrapped it all up in a neat little bow and called it kindness. But it was a lie. When you look in the mirror and finally strip away the bullshit, you see what was really happening. I was using being helpful like money. It was a currency. I would trade my helpful side to get exactly what I wanted from people, whether that was money, sex, or just a pat on the back to make me feel like I mattered. I handed people a favor and quietly passed them a receipt they did not ask for. I got this blueprint honestly. You watch the people who raised you build a whole life out of playing the savior, and your brain just thinks that is how you stay safe. You think that is how you get people to love you. But once you pull the curtain back on your own mind, the game is over. The sad part is, by the time I woke up and recognized what I was do...

Family secrets go back forever, and all they do is kill off the whole bloodline. It starts way back, right in childhood. Anyone in the family who has authority, whether it is a parent, a grandparent, or an older relative, looks at a kid and says, "Don't tell your mother" or "Don't tell your father". Just like that, the seed is planted. Once it starts, it stops being a one-time thing, and it becomes a whole lifestyle. You learn early on that lying and hiding things is just how you survive in the house. Then something really bad happens, something real, and those people in charge look you in the eye and tell you it didn't happen at all. They tell you to keep it a secret just to avoid potential trouble among family or friends. They would rather make you feel crazy and doubt your own eyes than face the truth. That realization hits like a sledgehammer later in life. You find information out, and suddenly, you see your whole existence was twisted up in a lie j...